Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the '+', there's a difference)
Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just
when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the
chapters vary, I
tried to keep them all decent, sorry for anything too short
Warnings: Angst, my sense of humor, Goten torture (in a sense at least), and need I mention shounen ai?
Disclaimer: DBZ mine? I wish!
I stayed home for the next two days. The doctor's diagnosis was that
I was under too much stress. Of course he lacked the
knowledge that I felt like I was loosing my best friend which was constantly on my mind. Though stress was a part of it. It felt
good to relax. Of course then I got my work overload when I went back to school.
When the bell rang of my first day back I suddenly felt as if a new
weight was placed on my shoulders. Sighing, I trudged on
to class. As I entered the classroom I felt all the eyes of the students on me.
They all knew what had happened. My face burned red as I took my seat, their gazes following me.
"Welcome back, Goten," Trunks whispered softly.
"Thanks," I replied just as quietly, scooting down in my seat.
Just feeling everyone looking at me made me queasy. I pushed it away,
not wanting it to disturb me. I focused on the
teacher, all my attention on him. How he walked, what he wore, how he spoke.
No stray thoughts, no questions, no problems.
I continued staring at my teacher throughout the whole of the class,
even to the point of doing nothing but staring at him. A
few students asked me about what happened, I shrugged them off, forcing all my attention on the teacher.
I flicked my eyes towards the clock. I had been staring at the man for
forty-five minutes. Fifteen to go until I could move
from this confining room with the staring gazes.
Without warning, Trunks turned back to face me. I jumped in my seat at the surprise. He gave me a strange look.
"Sorry, just a little antsy I guess," I let out a sigh.
"Oh. are you okay?" He asked, concern showing in his eyes.
"Yeah.. Yeah I'm fine."
"That's good," He smiled at me. I offered a weak smile in return, not
quite feeling up to much else. "Let me know if you need
anything, alright?" He touched my arm softly, a small gesture of affection.
Hot electricity shot though my arm, radiating from where his skin touched
mine. I sucked in air at the feeling. It seemed to
rip through me and clench around my heart. Pangs of confused emotion were thrown at me, hitting my tired mind full force.
My brow furrowed and eyes clenched shut as I tried to force them away.
How can he be so excepting of me? How can he just forget what a jerk I was? Why can't I just enjoy this?
It didn't work. I brought a hand up to my temple, gently massaging it.
"Chibi? You alright?" He touched my arm again, sending more fire through my veins.
I winced, "Yeah, just a headache."
"Oh, I have some aspirin if you'd like."
"No. no, it's fine," I removed my hand from my temple and opened my eyes, "I'm fine, thanks."
"You sure?" I nodded. "Okay then." He smiled and turned back to his desk.
I laid my head down on my table, submitting to the familiar barrage of questions my mind attacked me with.
What happened to my best friend? Where normally he'd be joking around
and teasing me he's soft and. loving. Not that I
mind so much it's just. different. I wanted to get my friend back and instead I got a boyfriend. This wasn't right. This wasn't
how things were supposed to turn out. It was supposed to be me and Trunks, friends, best friends, not boyfriends though.
A thought came to me as the bell sounded and students got up to leave,
seemingly punctuated by the toning of the bell. I
rose from my seat, gathering my things. Trunks was standing in front of me, waiting to walk beside me. I sighed upon
seeing him, but resolved in my thoughts that it was definite what I had to do.
"Bored to death about history, eh?"
I chuckled weakly, "Yeah, guess so."
"Hm," He sighed softly, giving my shoulder a light squeeze.
We continued down the hall a ways, passing various rooms and students.
I received looks from some and overheard
whispers from others. Guess my personal life was off some hot gossip. Trunks' arms found its way draped over my
shoulders. I sighed softly.
This wouldn't be easy, I knew that much. And I prayed to anything listening
that this wouldn't hurt our friendship again,
though pretty much all I did now wound up affecting it.
I pulled away from him as we walked down another hall, "Trunks," I started
nervously, "We should probably. well." I sighed,
the cliché to end all romantic endeavors falling from my lips.
He stopped, "What is it?"
I let out a puff of air. I couldn't do this to him. Not here, not now. I'd loose him again. "Oh. nothing."
"What is it, Chibi, you can tell me, ya know."
"It's just. Trunks, you're my best friend. aren't you?"
The bell rang, signaling the students to return to class. My shoulders slumped.
"I have to go, Chibi, see ya in math, alright?" He said, my question lost to the pitch of the bell.
"Yeah, see ya." He waved and jogged off to his next class.
---------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ----------
More classes came and went. The curiosity of the other students was
annoying. Inevitably, at least two people from each
period asked what had happened. I shrugged them off yet again though; I just didn't need to think about that now. If I did.
well. I knew what would happen if the thoughts hit me once again.
I pinched the bridge of my nose slightly, willing the oncoming headache
to go away. It didn't work, I noticed, when my
temples started to throb. This was the problem of thinking; it hurt.
I plodded through my classes, barely noticing the subject matter being
taught. I simply focused on the teachers, everything
about them. That way I couldn't think about anything else.
It worked, too, until lunch. Globs of people I knew were seeking answers
from me. Like I had any for them. I could barely
manage my own thoughts, let alone fulfill those of others.
I had yet to figure out my main question, the one that plagued me no matter where I went.
What were we... A month ago we were best friends. I was happy; he was
happy. Up until the day he decided to come out to
me. But how could our friendship have turned to this? How could it have slipped so easily from being the last thing to
trouble me to being the source of my problems?
I shook my head, ignoring the questioning voices from the other students
and worked my way to a bench. I sighed as I sat,
slumping my shoulders and bracing my elbows on my knees.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, attempting to relax my confused
mind. As I breathed I noticed the familiar scent
of Trunks. I groaned inwardly.
This meant more confusion, more questions, more pain. I didn't want
to open my eyes, the darkness was soothing, my only
comfort from all that had happened.
A warm hand touched my shoulder, "Chibi?"
I knew I had to open my eyes, to leave my comfort behind. I had to, for Trunks.
I sighed inwardly, slowly opening my eyes, "Hm?"
"Hey," He offered a soft smile, "How ya doing?"
I stared into his eyes. So much more there now. Not cold like they were
previously when I had first hurt him. They showed
so much of how he felt; they shone with happiness. It made me feel worse. He loved me enough to forgive me, enough to
let me love him. But how? I had hurt him; I didn't deserve what he gave me. Further confusion wrought its way through my
"Chibi. You okay?"
I shook my head, clearing the haze from where it had settled, "Oh! Oh. I'm okay."
He sat down next to me, "Only okay?"
"Well. I'm just. Trunks," I sighed, "Nothing, never mind. I'm good."
He raised an eyebrow to my antics, "Very convincing. What's the matter?"
I drooped my head, gazing at my feet, "Oh. nothing, Trunks, I'm just. tired is all."
He softy ran the backside of his hand down my cheek. The touch sent a jolt of heat straight to my core. I shuddered slightly.
A small frown graced his lips, "You sure you're alright, Goten?"
I took a deep breath and nodded slowly, "Yeah, Trunks, just tired." I forced a yawn for effect.
"Alright. I believe you. Just don't stress yourself, Chibi, you know what happened last time."
What happened last time? Yeah, I know. I fell into the cool black numb,
my only comfort. Hidden away from the pain, the
questions. Hidden from having to think about feelings. It was nice. You pulled me from there, Trunks. Only for you.
I looked into his eyes again. I saw worry aimed in my direction. "Trunks," I started quietly, looking away from his gaze.
"Trunks. I'm just going to hurt you." My whisper of a voice left me.
"What? What do you mean?" Confusion was woven throughout his words.
I was giving him my confusion, spreading it. No, I couldn't make him like me.
I found my voice again, speaking a little above a whisper, "If you stay with me-"
"If?" Trunks interjected.
"-I'm just going to hurt you even more."
"Chibi, what do you mean?" He brought my face towards his, looking me in the eyes.
I sighed heavily, "I mean what I said. You can't stay with me, Trunks. Not like this. I'll hurt you."
"Trunks, please, just believe me. I don't want to hurt you." My voice
cracked as I felt the burning sting of tears well behind
"How will you hurt me, Chibi? I don't understand-" Trunks titled his head in contemplation.
"Damn it, Trunks!" I stood quickly, turning my back to him, "Listen,
you and me, we can't be like this." I strained to keep my
voice below a shout.
Trunks stood calmly, taking my hand, "Goten,"
"Leave me, Trunks."
"But. I love you, Chibi... I can't just leave you."
"I don't deserve your love, Trunks, leave me." I was begging with him, pleading for him to listen to me.
He couldn't stay with me. He'd get hurt, I knew he would. I couldn't
understand my own problems, let alone handle any sort
of relationship. I needed him as a friend, but if I hurt him again I knew he'd hate me.
"Trunks, please don't hate me." I whispered, "Please, tell me I'm your friend."
"You. You're my best friend, Goten, you know that." He sighed, "Goten, I don't understand." He gently rubbed my hand.
I felt myself slipping. My throat tightened and my breath hitched. I
felt the tears escape from their prison, tumbling down my
My voice was tight as I spoke, "Best friends. forever. Thank you, Trunks."
"Goten.?" He questioned, taking a step towards me.
"I'm sorry, Trunks. I can't put my best friend through anymore of this." I took my hand away from him, "So sorry, Trunks."
I started walking away from him, knowing I couldn't look back from this.
I had to continue, had to keep going. I heard him
walk up behind me. Quickening my pace to a light jog I tried once again to leave him.
"Goten, wait, please."
"No. no, Trunks, I'm so sorry. Don't hate me, you're still my best friend."
I ran away from him in cowardice, but I had no other
"Goten!" I heard him call after me. I didn't look back. As soon as I was off campus I took to the air, tears clouding my vision.
I couldn't go back, not now. I had made up my mind. I knew what I was
going to do, what I had to do. I had to fall back to the
darkness, back to my comfort. It was the only way I'd ever rid myself of the questions and confusion that constantly swam
through my mind. The numb black would help like it did before. It would keep people safe, others and myself as well. I
refused to submit to the confusion- no more. This was it.
"Trunks. My friend. Goodbye." I choked out, wiping my eyes.
I flew towards my house, having full in my mind what I was to do.
That's it for this chapter. Not much here, I know. So is this boring
you all to death or what? Normally I would thank people
for reviews. but I got none. (sniff!) Well, not to guilt anyone into a review or anything. But I really would like to know if it's
worth the time to continue posting this. As in, anyone out there???? Lemme know and I'll love you forever! ^_^V
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