Deserved Pain

Her door was banged open angrily. She started at the noise, snapping her gaze from the book in her hands to man that now
stood before her.

"Upset?" She asked calmly, curiosity on her face though knowing-ness behind her eyes.

The man snarled and glared furiously at her. "You agree with me- don't you?" He demanded, his voice echoing.

A light scent of raw spice filled the air. He'd been drinking again.

"Agree...?" She let her voice trail, a gesture asking for him to explain.

He sighed heavily. "Do you know nothing?"

She hid the hurt on her face with a small, unconvincing laugh.

"He's at it again- you're damned brother. He's been drinking- God he's crazy!" He explained heatedly.

Biting back the argument welling within her she spoke softly, eyes cold as she averted her gaze. "Oh?"

"Yes! He's out there right now, ranting like the idiot he is. Yelling and carrying on- I'm going to call the police, this time, I
swear!" His fists clenched as a muscle in his jaw twitched.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, quietly so as not to let him hear it. Her hands shook as her anger grew, though
she kept it inside.

"And your fucking bitch of a mother-"

"Dad," she said meekly.

"-Shes defending him! She doesn't see how mad her 'precious son' has gone! She's blind," His eyes narrowed towards the
girl that sat placid, pale face an unemotional mask. "You actually agree with her, don't you?" He demanded of her, his voice
filled with venom.

She sighed, "She's my mother and he's my brother. My family-"

Fury bubbled out of the man, "That's not family! They're not family, they're crazy mad people, not family!" he snapped,
grabbing the girl by the shoulders.

Fear coursed through the girl yet her face revealed nothing. Years of experience had taught her not to show her feelings, no
weakness. Stable, steady.

"They're crazy," the man ground out angrily.

Courage spurred up within her, "No," she spoke quietly though soft thunder rose behind her words, "They're just different...
But they're my family, my blood... I love them."

His face turned red as he began to shake with anger. He raised his hand high in the air.

Her eyes flicked to his hand though she didn't move. Her heart raced, adrenaline coursing through her and yelling at her
instincts to get away yet she stayed. Fear pricked up at the back of her mind though she fought it, her features remaining
plain and pale.

A primal growl broke forth from the man as he brought his hand down with great speed, striking her so hard she fell back and
off her chair.

"You stupid bitch! You're just like them, you're no better!" He glared at her fallen form. "Get up."

She didn't move, couldn't move. Physical pain burned through her face, her arm and side she had fallen on. Yet it was
emotional pain the mounted higher within her, forcing to the ground, weak.

"I said get up!" He demanded, yanking at her arm.

Her body lurched up effortlessly, pain once again searing through her body.

The man leaned down into her face and spoke harshly, "You're worse than they are. You're insane. You're an insane

The hurt of his words was lost on the girl as a cold ice settled around her heart. Her eyes dulled and previously pain twisted
face dropped to a mask. A chill spread through the air as she spoke, "I'm worse than them," she agreed, "I'm an
embarrassment and disgrace. I'm crazy, insane, and mad. No good."

He glared, "Don't mock me," he threatened, hand twitching at his side.


"Bitch, knock it off!"


"You know damned well what!" He yelled angrily.

"You're upset still." She said calmly, calculated words.

He ground his teeth and raised his hand again. The girl closed her eyes.

I'm the strength, I'm the pillar- this is right. Hurt me, Father. Hit me like you would them, give me their blows. Let me say I fell;
let me blame my clumsiness so they stay whole. This is what I'm for.

She raised her head up a little, inviting the blows she was to receive. Within moments his hand was back to her cheek and she
was thrown to the ground again. Her face stung with pain and her heart with insult, yet she stood again. She faced him.

Again he struck out in drunkenness, releasing his frustration on his little girl.

Again she fell yet again she stood.

Blow after blow she rose and faced him, giving him her ever-darkening cheek.

At last she fell and could not rise?the pain in her face and her side over bearing. Tears fell from her eyes as silent breathy
sobs wracked her frame.

The man's anger had dropped as his drunkenness took over and his mind blurred further. "Stupid little girl," he slurred, voice
dark, "Don't argue with your father." He left her room, shutting her door behind him.

She stayed on the floor, unable to push herself up, the pain she bore eating away at her being.

"No," She whispered between sobs, "I need to get over this. I deserved this- they don't. I'll be fine." Drawing every bit of
strength from her body she pushed herself up onto her bed. Her body lifelessly fell onto the pillows.

Her mind swirled as her throat got hot. A lump rose up in her throat and hot tears stung at the back of her eyes.

"It's better this way."

Salt tears escaped their confines, spilling onto her pillow. She with held loud sobs, turning them inward, tearing at her lungs.
Her body ached, her face bled and heart screamed.

"For them... It's better."

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