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alicia's journal DON'T EXPECT AN A FOR THIS, THOUGH AND E FOR EFFORT SHOULDBE GIVEN. ^_- I HOPE YOU REALIZE IT IS NOW 4:30 IN THE AM AND I HAVE AMERE SIX HOURS TO SLEEP. OH JOY, OH BLISS! HOWEVER... I DID AGREE TO THISSO I'LL SOP WHINING. TAKE THIS FOR WHAT YOU WILL. ^_^
(All spelling mistakes are now YOURS, btw ^_-)

 
 
Page # Entry
26 "At that, why, the half-naked women behind him just burst out clapping and cheering, as if they could no longer confine their enthusiasm for a dead goat."
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Rachel sounds sarcastic and a little snobbish in that. It's obvious that she doesn't approve of the "sans clothing" nature of the women. Rachel comes across as a little disgusted, even to the point of thinking she's no doubt better than the natives. With that line, Rachel seems to be criticizing the women's enthusiasm toward the feast, though it seems as if they're just having some innocent and heartfelt fun. Rachel comes across almost like a prude (a teenage prude), though I want to see how her character is developed.
43 "Children dressed up in the ragbags of Baptist charity or else nothing at all. Color coordination is not a strong point. Grown men and women seem to a red plaid and and pink floral print are complementary colors."
--
Here Rachel sounds haughty. She's looking at the people of this new place not with a considering eye, yet a critical one. She compares them to what she knows, by complaining about their fashion sense. She doesn't realize that the people there don't care about how they dress because they don't view it as fashion, merely protection. Rachel is too caught up in her American life to sympathize or even understand the people.
125 "Well naturally he is not in my color category."
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Very racial comment direct toward Anatole. I, for one, don't stand for racial slurs of any kind. I can understand the nature of the comment -- Baptists, like may other religions, believe in 'sticking to their own' and are generally against inter-racial couples. However, I do not like the way in which she expresses herself. Yet again she comes across with a 'holier-than-thou' attitude and what's worse is the racism. I doubt she'll be any good at fitting in one bit if she keeps up this attitude.
176 "Mother tries to explain to him [the Father] day in and day out about how he is putting his children in jeopardy of their lives, but he won't even listen to his own wife much less his mere eldest daughter."
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This is an insight to Rachel's father, Nathan. Rachel makes him seem as though he's ruthless in his mission -- he HAS to stay, no questioning that. And even the other characters make him out to be like that. Never does he come across fatherly. Also, I sense some resentment toward her father. She doesn't think he views her of having any mind in things. For once though, Rachel agrees with her mother. In this passage, even as she explains much about her father, she manages to come across as thinking she is the center of everything. Not a good survival trait.
253 "You always think you know more about their kind than they know about your, which just goes to show you."
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Here is where Rachel has a type of epiphany almost. She finally realizes that the people of the Congo are more than they seem! She realizes they're more than poorly dressed people with different traditions and what not -- they may actually know things. In the statement, she admits that she was wrong, not something Rachel seems to do very often. Also, she admits that the people of the Congo are actual people, and that they too are capable of knowing something about her and her family, not simply the other way around.
268 "Well, jeez, maybe she [Ruth May] is sick, but it's not no easy street for me either, being here and taking this guff."
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Yet again a prime example of Rachel's self-centered attitude. Even whilst her sister is sick she can only think of herself as having the biggest problem. I believe her perspective to be very narrowed, tunnel vision. She sees only what's directly presented to her and if she doesn't like that everything has to change to fit in her field of view. She doesn't seem able to accept things for what they are, or offer any focus to something not directly involving her. I wonder if she'll stay like this? Maybe as an adult she'll finally realize that the world will turn when Rachel Price doesn't get her way.
274 " . . . If God really aims to punish you, you'll know it when He sends you not one but two sisters who are younger than you but already have memorized the entire dictionary. I just thank heavens that only one of them talks."
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Very cruel remark here. Not only is it shown that she doesn't care much for her sisters, but it also reveals she shows no remorse (or at least pity) for Adah's disability. She goes as far as to be thankful that Adah cannot speak -- to me, that is very rude. I feel as if Rachel needs to be set straight, to have someone show her the world for what it is with its hardships and inequalities so that maybe she could appreciate what she has. Is she too self-centered to even she that resenting her sisters will not make them any better in her eye?
289 "'Which one? As far I can tell they all three got dropped on their heads when they were babies.'"
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Again, another nasty remark concerning her siblings. At Axelroot's prompting she holds nothing back when she tell him. She does not have even the subtlety to say it with a less harsh tone, she simply comes right out and admits her feeling towards her sister. Again, I see this as another example of Rachel believing the world needs to revolve around her. She doesn't like her sisters, so something must be wrong with them -- it could never be her. Will she ever figure out that if she wants people around her to change she first must change? This will be interesting to see.
301 "I thought I had died and gone to hell. But it's worse than that—I'm alive in hell."
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This was in reference to the ants swarming the village. It's getting to be repetitive but I can't help but comment on her self-centered, egotistical attitude. People were running and screaming for their lives, and here she is complaining about hers. I understand that what she was experiencing must have been close to hell, but to think only of herself? Her first thought was not of her family or their well-being, yet of how this was so bad for her. She has not yet changed her views on things, which is disappointing.
342 "Nelson wouldn't say what the evil sign was, just that it was a dreaded kibaazu sign of a bad curse put on Anatole. We kind of thought he might have made the whole thing up. Nelson could be dramatic."
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Of course, Rachel could never believe somebody without first seeing their proof. This is a sign of something bad to happen to Anatole yet she thinks Nelson must be playing some kind of trick. Why can't she take things for what they are or could be? She doesn't think of Anatole's safety, she simply wonders if Nelson is being dramatic or telling the truth. I'm beginning to believe Rachel is very conceded to the point of being shallow? Where is her character beyond those points?
350 "Lambs to the slaughter. We were, or the animals were, I don't even know who I feel sorry for the most. It was the most despicable day of my life."
--
Is Rachel actually feeling something towards another creature? Yet then again, she cannot hide the self-pity in her tone. It is always present, it seems. This attitude of Rachel's is beginning to grind my nerves. I find myself wanting to just shove her into a situation where everyone is worse of than she is and she has to pity the, or feeling something for them. I'd really hoped she would open up and become more worldly, or at least have a better grasp of things. As it seems, however, she will remain the snobbish teen forever.
355 "As soon as Eeben Axelroot came back I was determined to use my feminine wild to my own advantage. No matter what it took, I would get him to take me away from here in his airplane."
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What's this? It seems as if a slight change of character has occurred. No longer is Rachel concerned nearly as much with remaining a sweet Baptist girl, she goes as far as to all but blatantly offer herself for a ride. Again, this is hardly something out of the kindness of her heart to help another, yet it is intriguing. She had seemed so adamant about being a perfect American beauty yet now is offering to use her 'feminine wild' to get her will? Very intriguing indeed.
366 "Now we were going to put one foot in front of the other, walk to the back door, go in the house, stand beside our parents bed, wake up mother, say to her the words, Ruth May, say the word dead. Tell her, Mother wake up!"
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Finally an action for someone else! Though not necessarily heartwarming nor helpful, it is not for her own sake that she does it. Progress? Slight, but I see it. Perhaps there is hope for this one yet. However, in parts she almost seems to regret Ruth May's death for the inconvenience it will cause herself. That is more her true character after all. Still, I wonder how this will change things?
403 "I guess trading away your prime of life is a fair price for somebody flying you out of that hellhole."
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Rachel was so concerned about leaving the Congo that she'd go as far as to marry Axelroot. She dismissed what very well could have been the prime of her life for a mere ride from the Hell that'd become the Congo. However, I do see her point. Living where she was was simply not living. So while I view this move as somewhat ignorant, I can not justly insult her for it -- she had little else to chose. 
424 "If I'd known what marriage was going to be like, well, heck, I probably would have tied all those hope-chest linens together into a rope and hung myself from a tree!"
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Ah, usher in a new Rachel. No longer is she the young, self-centered teen dreaming away her life on such things as 'happily ever after' endings. No, now she realizes what life is. I'm somewhat happy that she is so frustrated with things, it shows that finally she's seeing things aren't always going to be perfect when concerning her. Also, in reflection, it shows that perhaps her attitude and outlook on life were not the best to have.
464 "But to marry one [an African male]? And have children? It doesn't seem natural. I can't see how those boys are any kin to me." 
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Another racial slur and this intended to hurt her relatives. I cannot stand this close-minded point of view. To me, it's not just her Baptist up bringing that caused this outlook -- it is of her own will and thought. Before, she had bent her church rules and such, yet she cannot see beyond the color of these people's skin? It irritates me to no end and I can't help but to call her ignorant or this view.
477 "It's simply a far more delicate matter than she understands. We have a strict policy about who is allowed upstairs, and if you change it for one person then where does it end?"
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I grind my teeth with every racial thing Rachel says. How can a girl that grew up in the Congo, surrounded by the very people she discriminates against, still harbor ill will and cruel intentions about them? One would think she'd come to realize that they too deserve to be treated fairly, yet she does not. It bugs me, to say the least, that so much of the young Rachel has survived into the old.
513 "My long tramp through the mud left me tuckered out and just too worldly-wise to go along with the teen scene."
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Finally -- at long last! -- we see a newer Rachel. She no longer is so concerned with being the American pop culture girl she tried so hard to be when she was young. Finally, she's gained a worldly view of things and realizes she is not the center of it all. It's heartening to know that she has finally overcome her close-minded attitude toward so many things. Yet, at the same time it's disappointing that it took such a long time. Though that does to be her character perfectly. She was so hard headed and sure of herself that she couldn't accept change for far too long. At long last though, Rachel has come to face the world for what it is. The evolution of her character is quite interesting and I'm glad to see she did not remain the same teenage girl wishing to be the perfect American dream.